today in the shower i was thinking about my usual shower thought sessions, and i thought about how nice it would be if those thoughts about life could be merged with godly thoughts, so that i get the wisest conclusions. realised how detached i am from God nowadays, it's like He's not as integrated into my life as before. life and God feel a bit more separate now. there are (often) days when he doesn't come into my mind at all until at night when i finally pray and open my bible. yuck that isn't supposed to be the case. then anyway i was on tumblr ytd night and saw this :
“People have asked me how it is I stay close to God. Truth is, just like everyone else, there are days when I feel distant from Him. But that’s the beauty of God. He isn’t going anywhere regardless of how I may feel.”
then yup! i realised that no matter how far away i feel from God he's always there! that's the beauty of the Lord. he's always there, always everywhere. and he never gives up on me no matter how many times i let go of him or push him away. or even tell him that i am choosing other things over him. i think my closer christian friends who've known me long enough can tell the difference between me now and me in the past with regards to this kind of things. but at least from a few days ago i decided to be serious about doing my tawg again and yes i think it's paying off! recently discovered many new verses i've never read in the bible before. used to think that being a christian for 17 years and being taught about the bible ever since i became literate meant that i knew all i need to know. but no way man, there are so many things hidden in there waiting to be discovered. we need to be more humble when reading God's word because we can never know enough, there are always new things to learn from the same passages. new perspectives, new interpretations. the bible can be really interesting sometimes, if only we have the desire to find out more.
(ok sorry about how incoherent this post is)
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