1% talent 99% hard work

too lazy to edit any photos because i'm actually supposed to be reading my environment infopack instead of typing this.

but anyway, had a really random and spontaneous week!!! went to lib on monday to study and ended up talking and a whole new rubbish story came up and it's been there ever since oh well. had a nice supper with thaddus clinton and matthew tan who all happen to live in bishan but take the bus in the opposite direction :( and i can't really remember what happened the rest of the week HAHAHAH WHOOPS. ok i rmb i went home immediately after school on tuesday for the first time since secondary school or something omg. it was nice taking a good nap. had fat boys with jeremiah on wed ^^ and sponsored pizza at community on thu and spontaneous dinner with clinton and matthew tan again ytd!!! where i finally satisfied my llaollao craving omg yay yay 

i realised i haven't been here in a really long while. studying sucks, not that i've been doing that everyday but i guess it's been a big improvement from what i've been like. was doing my tawg just now and God asked me if i believed that he could give me good results again like my promos, but i have to work hard. like no shit hahaha obviously i have to work hard. but if working hard is going to pay off then yes i am willing to work hard from tomorrow onwards i am going to seize every minute and plan my time well, such that i spend every minute of my life worthily. not that every moment must be spent studying, but i will be careful not to waste pockets of time and do useful stuff in those short spans of time. like read gp articles or something. change!!! i need change in my slop lifestyle. 

was being extremely unproductive today like i took breaks every 45mins-1h and it was horrible. kept eating and resting and stalking local artistes on instagram(what even?!?!) and basically doing everything except studying. so i went for a run and yay if this goes on i think i can get my fitness back!!!! hate hot weather though, it always makes me wanna stop :( 

anyway ^ is my current wallpaper!!!! press on everyone just because we don't see the light to it doesn't mean we never will. we are greater than we think we are and nothing is too difficult for us!! as long as we think we can, we can :) 

stress

i finally know what it feels like to be stressed by academics. before i had any sense of urgency i kept praying for myself to get some stress but now that it's here i don't think i want to live the next three months trapped in this vortex of a struggle any more. i never really understood how people could be so stressed out by work or have such defeated attitudes towards their studies, because however bad i thought i was, i was actually doing fine. it's the first time i am putting in so much effort into my studies and not seeing the results show. i can put in hours and hours of effort and not understand or remember a single thing a day later. feels like all my efforts are futile. 

but then again there are miracle cases and i'd like to believe i can be one of them. just because i haven't got it all figured out doesn't mean i never will, some day i may even look back and wonder why i was ever worried. all things are possible, and God will help me as long as i put in my best. it's not gonna be easy, but i'm going to work hard anyway

h8

gp is the bane of my life

i don't even know how to improve??????? 

Beautiful saviour

When I look into Your holiness 

When I gaze into Your loveliness 

When all things that surround me become shadows in the light of You 

When I found the joy of reaching Your heart 

When my will becomes enthralled in Your love 

When all things that surround me become shadows in the light of You 

I worship You 

I worship You 

The reason I live is to worship You 

What in the world is wrong I don't even know why do we always have problems that pop out of nowhere :( 

ain't it fun

past few days have been good! 

went back to sn just for food with levia on tuesday!!!! best decision, i really missed sn and the food :-) had some of our favourite food but didn't get to see the malay stall aunty :-( and she was apparently still in school when i came so sigh :< walked around the school, visited our old classrooms and took lots of photos at random parts of the school it brought back tons of memories. really miss sn and the warmth it brought. recently we did the qse survey and it was the first time i chose the 'disagree' option when they asked if we liked going to school. it's really very different now, compared to 2 years ago when i actually was happy to go to school. now school is just a huge burden. even the people aren't great enough to make me love school, though they make it slightly more bearable. 

impromptu creamier trip with rose and levia on wed after complex test was kinda brain dead and i needed to reward myself for being disciplined and leaving the classroom to do a chem question in another classroom. wowow. but anyway we WALKED to creamier HAHA it was a fun experience and we walked past the old sn nostalgia pangs again!

final night on thursday then supper with my house d glad we got to spend some time together again :-) then went back to school with the intention of just dropping by community to say hi with matt but ended up going for supper round 2 with some of them HAHA exciting life. hehe i like them they are very nice and genuine people.

woke up late for the last nat day celebration in school so i just went to take attendance and went for dental and then went out with gay and eye!!!! time spent with them is always good and we just kept eating oh my. 9 plates of sushi with goh then llaollao then ps cafe where we intended to only eat fries but they had a minimum 1 order per person so we had to order bangers and a drink too sigh fats transfer from wallet to body :-( then went to meet lilang and tried arbite it is not great honestly or maybe i just ordered the wrong things. the eggs florentine had some weird thing in the middle of the bread i thought it was kinda gross. then oblong for dessert what a calorific day. 

anyway impromptu supper with clinton it's been a long long while since we sat down and had a proper talk, like just the two of us and i'm glad we are still close despite it being about a year!!!!! the last time we did that was probably ikea, during wr printing. really glad for a friend like him!!! secure friendships ftw

pretty wasted day today woke up at 1130 to find the entire morning gone. went out for lunch and did ONE chem question at bux while waiting for parents to finish grocery shopping. then came home and napped again till dinner and we watched ndp and minute to win it that's about all for the day. ohwell. on the bright side at least i caught up on my sleep!!! 

the sound of heaven touching earth

so so so glad i made a last minute decision to go for fop it's like a gained a whole new perspective on life and the way i should view things. it's really all in the mind! we see the things we are looking for, so to succeed all we need to do is to look for the good in everything, and of course God's presence :-) 

been getting waves of panic recently and i like it :-) i think that's the only way to get me to study. a bit sian how i work best under pressure - that means i NEED to stress myself from now to 24 november. speaking of which there are now exactly three months to As wew. 

i will succeed because i am crazy enough to think i can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!