Thank you

Suddenly feel like parents deserve so much more respect than they actually get. The reason why parents work so hard is so that they can provide for their children and their education which is gonna cost a bomb in the time to come. Yet sometimes because of that their children grow up without growing close to them and the family becomes very distant. Then the children go home less and less and later and later and the parents hardly get to see their kids. Not like they wanted that to happen, they just needed to make a living. Who doesn't want a family that's close?? Then parent and kid communicate less and it turns into a situation where the parent merely provides for the child and that's about all the relation there is. 

Really????????????? Is it so difficult to spend some time with our parents??? I wonder why we choose our friends over our family and would try so hard to find a friend to eat with us outside than just go home for dinner. I am guilty of that sometimes too though, but I'm making a commitment to spend more time at home esp since uni is coming and idk if I'm wanna stay in hall or what then I won't even have the chance to spend more time with my family even if I wanted to. 

Honestly the only thing holding some families together is blood ties and if the parents really wanted to they could just choose to stop providing for their children since they are so unappreciative anyway. But they don't and continue to work hard to give their child the best, and I think that is really beautiful. the power of a parent's love is something I won't be able to understand at the moment. It's so selfless. At times parents do do wrong things and they may seem unreasonable or hurtful but I believe deep down inside they still love their children and we should forgive them because we must have annoyed them so much when we were kids too, but they didn't throw us away anyway and took care of us for 18 tiring years. I can't imagine doing that LOLOLOLOL it sounds scary to be a parent 

sickly

nua day at home because i was so sick ytd/today. fever hit 40.3 degrees an all time record high but thankfully it subsided!!! it was such a bummer though i was supposed to go to nlb with the war people and now they are going to eat llaollao :( but ah i guess i needed this rest and thank God i still managed to squeeze some work in today when i got better! 

anyway the past week(?) or so has been really packed, with prelims and many other random outings hehehehe. i am actually quite pleased because i feel like i am gaining knowledge and expanding my horizons now that all we do is prelim paper after prelim paper and other schools have such weird ways of testing concepts and those application type of questions have background info which is actually very interesting HAHA i love it when they link what we study to real life. speaking of which during chem p2 they had a question about proteins which involved mayo and meringue HAHA i was so amused and excited LOLOLOL little joys in life. 

i am totally enjoying my temporary break after the long papers ended and now that it's just mcq i feel like just doing more and more because i can sit on my bed with a pen and calculator and just do it comfortably. HAHA. met kit jere and charles for dinner on tue after the mad double paper day to celebrate jere's bday it was a very good night :-) albeit the train disruption lolz. but it was a good ketchup! 

anyway yesterday was my favourite tanhuishi's birthday!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so glad our surprise went well hehehe it was difficult to contain it when i wished her at 12!! was surviving the whole day on panadol though. not to forget me and enqi's close shave when they were walking to island and we were like less than 2m away from her lolololol. ninja skills +1

hope i recover by tonight so that i can take the chem paper tmr being sick rly sucks :( 

i believe in you

the slack-the-day-before-exam syndrome is back again HAHA i think i should never study at home on sundays. got home and decided to rest on the bed for 10min and start studying at 3 but ended up sleeping till 6 and woke up naturally after my dream ended LOL what even. attempted a paper 3 at 6 but the first question was kinda difficult so i decided not to demoralise myself and helped the brother with o level physics instead HAHA what a morale booster. didn't go for my routine day-before-physics run too. fatty. 

anyway church was nice today!! it was a case of accurate prophetic prayer again when s meips prayed the exact feelings i had towards everything in general :> also had a fun time serving with my favourite small team!!! very very blessed to lead this bunch idk if i'm just lucky to have the most enthusiastic people assigned to me but anyway i really appreciate them! i think i'm a sucky core but they really help and support me all the way :-) lunch with many of the 96'ers after quite a while and joe say joined us hehe. had a short talk with matthew tan on the way home and i'm glad to have found a friend in him!!!! funny how we've been acquaintances for like what maybe 10 years or something but never got to know each other properly till this year. nice to know we can relate to each other although he's so much of a slop sometimes. facetimed the parents in australia before dinner just now and saw jason!!!! he is so big now omg. 

shall sleep earlier tonight though i think i've had too much sleep today. gonna conquer the paper tmr in my own way, whether i do well or not!! 

heehehehehe

shoutout to goh enqi for being the best study buddy!!!!!!!!!1! many luvs 

all of me loves all of you

just spent about an hour or so on the piano trying to figure out how to improvise better HAHA honestly my improv skills suck but i'm gonna try to learn more myself so hehe after As maybe and then i'll go pick up the guitar again and learn more chords!!! 

watched if i stay with some of osm ytd and it was good??? thought it was gonna be some lame love story but no not really. the protagonist thought the most important decision she had to make was between pursuing her lifelong music dream in a prestigious college or staying behind with her family and boyfriend but they got into this car accident where her entire family died and she was in a coma, so she could kinda decide if she wanted to live or not. and there was this scene where her grandfather spoke to her and told her it's alright if she decided she didn't wanna continue living anymore and as he spoke i started to tear omg idk it just reminded me a lot of my own family and how fragile life is. if i were the one in that situation i'm quite sure i'd just let go because family is really really important to me. like honestly i really don't mind dying i just don't wanna live on earth without people i love. 

ok cannot i'm starting to feel a bit sad already hahahahahha. came online to find econs markers reports but weirdly they don't have the 2013 one???????????/ why why why idek. i can't wait to finish studying syllabus so that i can start on revision and honestly i think revision is really fun. except when you can't seem to do anything like what happened to me today when i tried the hc physics prelim paper. got a little consolation from the fact that it was a hc paper, though that shouldn't be the excuse. ohwell. 

also i love it when unexpected things happen on wed i went to somerset for dinner and decided to drop by muji just to see what new drinks they had. was secretly hoping to see salty lemon water there though i kinda knew there wouldn't be because i'd gone to many mujis in search of it but all said they didn't have any and that stocks weren't coming in for a while already so it was highly likely they were stopping production. but that day i was pleasantly surprised to see my favourite drink in the fridge!!!!!!!!!!!!1! omg major heart attack at that moment in time and idk i was just really really excited heheheheh. :> and today i went to school to study and didn't have breakfast and suddenly ilene chua came with a liushabread????? she didn't know i was in school too and it was such divine planning hehehehe happy :> 

thankful for everyone who made this week a bit better than it could have been, with prelims and all! i am grateful for little catch ups with people, especially those i haven't talked to in a long time :-)

lazy ass

photos from about the past half month or so. thankful for happy times amidst the frantic rush to study and wisely spend every minute. not that it has happened for me today though, gp was really draining but on the bright side for the first time in life i actually had solid points to write about for essay and i think the aq was manageable. thank God and thank uma for her generous support. now on to a levels, i just hope a doable essay comes out i just need to pass decently. 

but anyway i really didn't feel like doing any work after gp today. had half a mind to ask people out for ice cream or something but decided against it anyway, so i went to hml with rose and levia and did a math paper for 4 hours. tried to do an econs case study initally but failed so badly. guess i'll just save it for tomorrow then. 

was talking to daryl about child like faith today and i think my faith is really quite child like. i never really questioned and always accepted things just because i believe in them. don't know how good this is but i hope i'll grow stronger even as i question.