year of many lasts

conquered napfa for life ohyeah 

ran up the hill in the rain to get our free cones!! it was a journey of perserverance :)

nj carnival - heavily discounted helium balloon for $5 but i sold it to a desperate guy who wanted it for his girlfriend :)

pw results day :>

no shoes day feat. my clean feet

last day at longhouse :( will really miss this place i grew up eating at

true colours easter production - it was really good + good company 

found pretty daisyish flowers near old airport road

met the small buddy for the first time on monday!

wew so long since i updated my blog!!

anyway yesterday concluded the end of my chorale journey. it's been 10 good years of blood sweat and tears, all for the sake of making good music. haha i never thought i'd continue choir for so long, esp since i was so certain i'd drop choir in jc. but thank God for plopping me in chorale because i think i grew the most in this short 1 year in chorale. i don't think i'll ever get to sing like this again, or at least not with an astoundingly talented, sharp and driven conductor. and not with a group of mad talented yet accepting and supportive people. anyway yesterday i finally realised how much i love choral singing, despite my constant complaints. :') 

anyway thank you to all those who helped/supported/encouraged me in one way or another during the gown saga. hahahah this incident now has a name. was so panicky but i am really thankful for some of my batchmates who helped me source for gowns to borrow. am also eternally grateful to the seniors who i am not a tad bit close to but still went out of their way to pass me their gowns so that i could go on stage and sing for the last time (maybe in my life). i will definitely be more mindful of my stuff from now on. who loses a gown and only realises 3 months later, one day before performance man. but anyway i guess this whole incident taught me that God will take care of me - finding a gown that fit me - from someone i would never ask from myself - buying shoes in 5min.  thank God it all went smoothly i mean everything could have gone wrong - all the gowns could have not fit - the shoe shop could have every shoe size except mine. thank God for making a way out of what seemed like a dead end that night. 

also this made me realise how important it is to help people when they need help. now i'll be able to empathise with people when they are desperate, because i was so so so desperate. and i'll naturally be more inclined to help them! hahaha this is like some kindness cycle, because people were kind to me, i'm going to be kind to more other people. feeling empowered by kindness!!! 

anyway thank you to everyone who came down to watch us perform even though it was on a weird wednesday all the way at esplanade - and most of you don't even appreciate choral music but thank you :)))) makes me all the more touched hehehe. 

had a self-declared day off today, slept till 11:11 and lazed in bed for a while before heading to school for mock spa in the afternoon. forgot how it felt to have more than 6 hours of sleep :> 

and from now on all my 1230 days have been converted into 6pm days because i am going to have piano lessons THREE TIMES A WEEK for the whole of may. sounds like a disaster, but i really hope this pays off and that i'll pass my exam. it's my last ever exam so crossing my fingers i'll pass :X  

wow this is a year of many lasts

???

I confuse myself sometimes 

how beautiful it is for someone to be in love with your mind

2nd llaollao in 3 days and still craving for more

went for a short walk around the neighbourhood in hope of finding sakura-ish flowers but there were none :(

have you ever come across blogs of people you know and from there realise that they are actually so much more than you think they are? that always happens to me. each time i stumble upon someone's blog i feel really enlightened because it opens up the door to those thoughts locked up in their minds that we'd never be able to access otherwise in real life. each new blog discovery is just like a new adventure. i think it's really interesting to find out about the way people think. especially blogs which don't just recount about the days, but actually speak about life. 

and then i get reminded of my blog. sometimes i think my blog is distastefully shallow after reading other blogs that actually have proper insights about life. but then again why should i care about the depth of my blog if i am full of shallow thoughts then so be it - at least it is genuine and unpretentious this way. and i think people would much better appreciate real opinions rather than pretty looking fake thoughts.

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wrote a whole chunk of stuff but deleted it in the end because i think it would offend a significant number of people. sigh, sometimes i wonder why i even write here when i know i have no control over who reads this and how often they do. life is weird. people are weird. i am weird.

i love llao llao

monday : went out for dinner with enqi huishi and ilene to celebrate ilene's birthday!! got her a pretty balloon and ended up eating at charlie and co because the sushi bar was too crowded. glad to have seen huishi again!!! 

tuesday : batch outing at wanyii's really pretty and photogenic house! the house looked like some holiday resort, seriously. the pool had small waterfalls that u can sit under and if i'm not wrong i saw jacuzzi pumps??? but anyway good morning spent with good company i really like my batch like i said in previous posts :) impromptu meetup with hannah in the afternoon since she happened to be nearby so we ended up in orchard and i ate four fingers and drank boost but no photo because that day i decided that it was more important to enjoy the moment rather than spend excessive time taking a good photo. impromptu shopping too. HAHA. 

wednesday : didn't go to school because i felt a bit sick in the morning, but it was really timely because i didn't feel like going to school at all. think i really needed the break. got some work done too since i was almost fully recovered by afternoon. even went for a run which was supposed to only be 2k but ended up as 4k since i got lost halfway through in my own estate (LOL) and had to run along the perimeters of the estate to find the usual road home. 

thursday : dragged myself to school for civics to find that rose wasn't in school so that one hour was even more boring. waterpolo ms!! waterpolo is an interesting game hahaha i really like the water and it looks like a really tiring yet fun sport to play. then carpenter and cook jr with hannah in the afternoon hehe it's such a pretty place hidden in the middle of a cold atas estate. then met charles for dinner at rochor beancurd because TOFU FRIES!!!!11!!!!1!1!!!! finally satisfied the craving woohoo 

friday : rushed off after prac since combined was only for tour group (sigh tour sigh) to meet windy and charles!!! had cheap dinner at s11 before going to marina square for sum llao llao!!!!!! finally tried it and i fully understand why everyone is raving about it. because it is really that good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at first taste i was already in love with it and am still in love with it. yesterday was the first time i ate melted yogurt normally i just leave the melted parts to rot and die but yesterday i ate up as much as i could of the melted parts!!!!!!!!!!!! it's very natural and there are no chunks of icy weird stuff that give away the non-authenticity of the yogurt. a bit on the expensive side but its definitely worth every cent u pay!! just hope the servers are generous with the yogurt because it's meant to be swirled really high up hehehehe. 

today : woke up early to redeem my free sausage mcgriddles and ham wrap from the macs alarm surprise thing!!!! free breakfast sure feels good although they ran out of sausage and had to replace it with chicken. it was fine anyway! met jonhann and matt for lunch at chachacha apparently my parents used to go there when they were dating HAHAH. what an old restaurant. ate stuff idek it was just food. had daily scoop after too! then went for some chicken rice buffet at nuss food overload whoooooooop. 

was intending to write all that in my typo journal but am not in a writing mood so it shall be here for now. hehe.

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this week the class girls camwhored and the canteen table during break and took a photo the exact same way we took it during firedrill last year during firedrill this year. time flies, it's been a year already. reminded me of the times when we were j1 and still entirely chill about school and all. had a short but good talk with levia and nengfang during lunch on friday. one year is such a short but long time. it's so short it feels like it just happened but in actual fact many many things happen within a week/month/year so it's actually been a long time. talked about how class dynamics have changed and how the people we expected ourselves to never talk to eventually became our close friends and all. it's a pity the year is going to end with the class being somewhat segregated - partially because people are beginning to retreat into their mugging shells and cut off from the world - a scary phenomenon taking place in rj now. hope we can all cherish these few months we have left together and create even fonder memories than those last year. after all, it's our last year of school life...

was reading someone's blog today and i really admire some people for their depth of thinking. how in the world are people capable of such thoughts, so critical and mature. i guess it all boils down to their upbringing, like ilene said. this girl has parents who i really admire, though i only know one of them. the mother is an extremely successful woman in probably almost every aspect of her life - i would say she was very successful as a youth, taking on multiple roles but still did well enough to get into oxford. became a well-respected principal in a reputable school and has a close-knit family with children so confident about themselves, who each excel in their own unique way. i guess children do take after their parents, which is why it is so important to be a good parent. we can't choose who our parents are so all we can do is to be a good parent to our kids next time. i hope i'll be a good parent too, one that imparts good values to her kids so that they'll grow up sensible and grounded. 

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today while i was casually talking to a friend of mine the topic diverted to cross-religion dating (weird term but idk any other term to describe it i think u get what i mean) and i realised how difficult it is to explain to a non believer about this whole only getting into a relationship with a christian thing, let alone convince them that it is rational and worth keeping to. then the convo went on with him revealing that he doesn't even believe in God sometimes, despite being a confirmed catholic. honestly i am very confused about this whole catholic christian divide thing my understanding of it is that we believe in the same God but we believe in different levels of power of the other people like mary so as a result we are different? but that means we still believe in the same God? i'm so confused about this i should go find out soon. maybe tomorrow.

 but anyway i still felt the onus to show him that yes God is real, or at least share with him about why i think God is real. and that's when i realised that i really don't know how to? i never really needed a reason to convince myself why God is real, apart from the things God does in my life but that is difficult to explain. so how do i give a logical answer to people? faith is so illogical and irrational. 

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can i just say that i am really really happy tonight is saturday? because that means tomorrow is sunday and i'm going to church instead of school and that means so much to me i don't know why but i really dread school nowadays.