personal statement

temporary respite from uni apps now. who knew personal statements were so tiring?? or at least writing a good one is. spent nearly the entire day doing statements and now i'm only on my third draft. there are so many flaws and i know what's wrong but idk how to correct it. sucks not to have a flair for writing :( 

but anyway, had a wonderful day yesterday!!! celebrated ilene's birthday at barrage and took many nice photos, though i look kinda bad in most. plus i couldn't even wear nice and cooling clothes sobbles. but at least my vsco grid looks quite nice now YAY HAHA 

hope i can finish my statements soon :( it's quite sad because no matter what course i end up choosing, a lot of effort is going to be wasted. oh well! at least i know i won't regret not trying and keeping my options open!!

fickle

fickle minded me is at it again!!!!!!!!!!! just changed my NUS apps LOL. i really hope this is the last time i'm changing, or maybe i'll log in again to pull out from one course. eep. i don't really know, but i think i'll just go ahead with this? 

also, asked kong to help me with another referral and she asked me for a write up on why i want to study the course and i miraculously finished it within 30min and it was pretty decent? think it is really God pouring ideas and structure into my head. if you know me you know i suck at writing suck at structure suck at language in general. and my thoughts are always incoherent but just now everything kind of just flowed. and it actually made good sense :-) may e wong reply me NOW because i really need another referral HAHAH. 

Sometimes I wish you'd know how badly your selfish actions are affecting me. How many times do U want this to happen omg I thought we finally settled it once and for all. 

sad

don't we know how much God's heart hurts every time we are sad? i think for every morsel of sadness i have God has 100x more. it's like he's thinking, my child, why are you so dumb and being sad over such small matters? i have so many good things in store for you, if only you would be happy and trust me. 

also, it is not good to constantly be sad over similar matters. i thought i would be immune by now, but not really.

///

on another note, just submitted my NUS apps because i found out i can still change them after submitting. honestly, i feel like i'm doing this whole NUS thing for nothing cos idk if i can even get into med since the chances are slim. but i actually like NUS. eeep idk.

also, got my call from NTU today!! gonna have my interview about 2 weeks from now, HAHA didn't know they were so quick in apps processing. the call came as a bit of a shock actually, especially since it was like 5min after i woke up LOL.   

Thanks for being the worst friend ever in history. You bring me so much more anguish than anyone can ever 

i think my career choice just totally changed after today. it's quite cool actually. shan't write entirely about it now but when it comes to past, i will. just need a lot more affirmation from God then i'm good to go! 

confused

i am so confused as to what i want to do in life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! each day i have a different view on what kind of career i want. and the difference between each career path i have in mind is so huge. oh gosh. God i need some help here. 

dentistry

just submitted my ntu apps!!!

anyway, my med attachment has ended so i went for a dental attachment today! it was q fun, but honestly, i can't imagine doing it for a living. i think i'll rly get bored of it. but it is def a good and stable job and they are always hiring dentists. the biggest problem i have with dentistry is i worry my hands fail me in future, like what if my hands become weak or i lose control of my hands or smth. my whole career will just be gone!!!!!!!! another problem is that dentistry is very unintellectually stimulating, which i kinda have a problem with. i actually like to use my brain, however weird this may sound!!! but there are so many other reasons why i think dentistry could be the thing for me. aiyo i feel so fickle minded now. 

SAY SOMETHING I'M GIVING UP ON YOU

Need to stop drowning myself in sorrows!!!!! The joy of the Lord is my strength!!!!! Life goes on and God has reasons for whatever is happening :-) 

:-)

today was, ultimately, a good day. :) 

God is so full of surprises, really. been praying the past few days and reading bible passages and listening to songs and the vibe i got was that i was going to do badly. read ecclesiastes which talks about being satisfied with whatever i have because this is my lot, then a psalm which talks about how riches stored on earth are meaningless and then idk i just had this weird feeling i would get straight Bs but by the grace of God, i think i did really well :) completely exceeded my expectations and honestly it is way beyond my own abilities, except gp. really happy esp for gp because i think i worked really hard for it and deserve it?? HAHA. 

 honestly, grades do matter but they aren't everything. in the end grades are just a key to the doors God is opening for me. the fact that God is leading me to the place where i will fulfil the plans he has for me is far more worth celebrating than the grades itself :-)