you can take a girl out of ij but you can't take ij out of a girl

alright pardon me if i'm a little incoherent now i am so sleepy but i just needed to articulate these thoughts before i fall asleep and forget all of them again. 

so yes, O's results are today and i being very blessed got sent back to sn to promote raffles. not that it needs a lot of promoting because it's a school that would come to mind if you get perfect L1R5 or somewhere close enough. hahaha as if i don't understand how they'd feel. anyway it was quite shocking because despite doing well as a batch they didn't seem to have done that well individually. but it's okay, still proud of all the O level takers because at least they've made it past this milestone in their life!!! sad that they won't be my juniors next year. actually i think there will be extremely few sn girls in rj next year. sigh pie. :(  

but anyway the visit to sn today was so heartwarming. i know i say this many many times but sn is really home. i love sn it's like the moment i step into school (yes i still call sn 'school') i feel the warm family feel already. it's like nothing's changed, although a whole year has passed since i received my O level results and was officially out of sn. i can still clearly remember all that we used to do, the places we'd frequent, the food we'd eat everyday. looking at the sn smallies makes me think about myself. they're just like our mini mes!!! just a little smaller. the sn culture hasn't really changed, and i'm glad it didn't. it still carries the same feel of sisterly love and it's basically extremely homely. you don't have to care about what you say, even to teachers. got to see all my old teachers who are still in sn today and talked to jacq lee and sharon law. it was quite funny and nice because i didn't really have to watch what i was saying, and just said whatever came to mind. i miss this kind of casual teacher-student relationship. there's a bond and you feel like the teachers genuinely are interested in your life and teach you because they really want you to do well, not just because it's their job. now it's like i hardly even know any teacher. i think i can recognise only about..... 10 teachers in rj. and we used to kinda know the existence of every single teacher in sn. nowadays i have to think carefully when i talk to teachers to make sure that what i say isn't used against me, or doesn't give the teacher a bad impression of me. it's so cordial i hate it. everything is so formal and political it's so irritating. 

maybe it's just that we were too sheltered in sn, so now when we are out we really feel the effects of it. now that we are 'out in the big bad world', i realise why i love sn so much. sn is a family, where from the top to the bottom everyone kind of cares. they may not care about you personally but in general, they do care about the well-being of the school and students and genuinely want the best for the students. they're not that results driven and factor in stuff like students' needs and preferences and all. despite that we still do well academically. even the canteen uncles and aunties recognise you and some even call you by name. it makes you feel like you have a place, like you belong. even when you leave there's still some kind of attachment to the place. not like now when once your batch is gone from the college, you have nothing much left to hold on to. in the big bad world you need to care about your image, how people view you, how things you say may be used against you and stuff like that. it's so political and dangerous you need to be on your guard at all times. the people you can trust are few, too. walls have ears, you never know who is friends with who. it's tiring sometimes. 

oh well, i guess i'm more physically tired than mentally tired at the moment. haven't been doing enough work (or even doing work at all) to consider myself mentally tired. gotta buck up soon because As are in 9 months or so. that's very very short, considering As are like 10 times worse than Os plus i have a sucky work foundation now contrary to popular belief. will update with pictures next time when i'm freer. which will be like months later or something ahhaha bye!!! 

oh and come for Raffles Open House, 15 Jan from 930am-330pm!! see you there!