dreams

I never ever blog in the morning but this time I really need to write this down, especially while this whole thing is still fresh.

Basically I just woke up from this scary dream. In the dream we were watching some show and were about the reach the last ep. Idk why but it suddenly translated into real life and they started screening Instagram pages of people and once the screening ended, the person would be dead. One of them was nainai so after her screening we rushed to a ward where we saw her lying down and assumed she died. Hugged daddy and we both cried then I decided to look into the room again. Suddenly she woke up and I ran over to hug her. She hasn't died but had weird insects crawling all over her.

Another part was that once your name was called, you'd have to go downstairs and die. Jon was one of them and I got very sad. This part didn't rly end but what hit me was that unlike most of the other ppl in this dream he was unsaved and that means that if the world were to rly end or if he were to die I'd never see him again and he'd literally be burning in hell. same goes with all the other non believers. Got me a bit worried and gave me the sense of urgency to evangelize. 

in my 17 years of living as a christian i never rly understood why christians kept trying to evangelise. it seemed pushy and like we had to impose our faith on others. and because i never rly understood why i never rly tried to reach out to others. i just led my own life as a christian, experienced God's goodness and left it as it is. i've never had a burden for the lost. but after that dream i finally understand why. it's because they really love the people around them and want to see all of them up in heaven. i think this never rly hit me because my entire immediate family is saved, so when the church talks about saving your loved ones i can never relate. the closest i got to feeling the need to bring people to christ was the whole japan thing. friends wise, idk, everyone's still young so i just never rly felt the need to get them saved. now i finally understand that christians don't bring people to church for the sake of adding to the church's numbers, but because they genuinely carry God's love for people and don't want to see them go to hell. 

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anyway i took a unintentionally long nap and had another scary dream. people may not think this is scary but i really did. ok basically i was going home from some place and for some reason i emptied my brown sling bag's contents into some reusable bag and used that instead. i was with my cell (ilene rachel yanru etc) and left them soon after. i was on the train home when i realised that sean wasn't home yet so i went all the way to dhoby to find him. it was getting late and i got worried. can't rly rmb this part but eventually he appeared la and then we went home. 

(i have no idea how these 2 parts link) but anyway, we got home and then suddenly the cell came to pass me my brown bag because i left it behind. they sat down on the orange sofa (we were in my old house btw) when i spotted 3 cockroaches on the walls. kinda got grossed out so i went to the kitchen to take baygon. as i walked to the kitchen i saw some weird flying ants that doubled in size when agitated by human movement or baygon. their heads were weirdly huge. so i attacked them with baygon and suddenly more and more and more of these weird insects started appearing out of nowhere?!!?! then suddenly there were lizards too. the lizards started to appear from below the cupboard and as i sprayed baygon they started to fall onto my bags. ewwwwwwwwww grossed out max?!?! then i got so scared i woke up. 

i realised i have very weird dreams. my dreams are always very illogical, don't link and will never happen in real life. there's always some unnatural element inside. i used to always dream of me destroying my teeth and i have no idea what that means but i shall read up on it one day. also constantly dream of myself running away from something but just as i am about to get caught i wake up. sometimes i get nice dreams, dreams where i get close to the most random people ever and then when i wake up i suddenly feel as if i am really close to the person. but sadly, no. have to keep my distance and pretend the dream never happened :< oh and i also realised i dream in black and white. :O 

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suddenly quite a lot of people know my blog and i feel so exposed but oh well i trust the people who know to not spread it. not that it is very private or anything but i just think it is awkward and weird for people to stalk my blog and then see me in real life because sometimes the things i say here and things i say irl are not quite the same.................. i'd like to believe i am less blonde here than in real life. hurhur