6 days left

i will call upon Your name

keep my eyes above the waves

when oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace

i am yours and you are mine

reality check : 6 days to A levels. 

feels so surreal, i can't believe we are at this stage where all we are doing now is trying to finish up whatever we can and wait for As to begin. i think wait is the wrong word it's more of like rush as much as possible before As hit us like a truck. to be very honest i am not satisfied with my revision progress. at all. i feel like i'm stagnating at a C and no matter how many papers i do i can't seem to move up. i don't understand the phrasing of A level questions which is a very weird problem to have. it's not even a language paper language shouldn't even be an issue. but it is. 

also i think i lack a major sense of urgency i am running out of productivity the library is running out of productive feels too, but i don't know where else to go. we played cards in hans yesterday from 130-3 i could have done a chem paper in that time. sometimes i just don't have that motivation or stress that everyone else seems to have. and i really need it!!! i need a panic attack now, not a major one but one that will scare me into studying harder. 

on a side note hans is closing this friday and i am really really quite sad about it. i still remember when hans first opened and there was all that hype about having a restaurant in church. soon after it became some sort of a canteen and started selling more affordable food at the side. i still remember when we had FUEL and went for break before service and we used to eat the hans chicken wing ah i am really going to miss it :-( it was a home for us we studied there had cell there celebrated birthdays there talked to the aunties when we were younger LOL sigh 7 years have passed so quickly. as much as we complain about having to eat at hans nowadays it holds lots of memories for me and i will seriously miss it. :-( saw the staff taking selfies while we were playing cards and we decided to take photos with them so that they will feel like people will miss them and their absence will be felt. i really hope they did i think the hans staff are very underappreciated especially during the peak hours after service ends and it's super crowded they are so busy and still have to face impatient customers. hope they come back sometimes to visit us and maybe attend chinese service or something ah it's so sad to see people go. 

also was studying in church for a few weekends and there is this regular cleaner who seems quite young and cannot speak english but is very nice. classrooms close at 7 but she let us stay till 9 on one of the weeks although it meant she would go home later. nice to know that people are nice (lol sounds funny) and i don't think she even attends service or feels like she is part of the church. actually i really hope all these people working in church but aren't christians will get saved one day. then they can truly feel like they are part of the church instead of coming here everyday and just treating it like a workplace.