love languages

today i realised how much i treasure one-to-one time. caught up with an old friend over dinner and i'm glad we are still close!! despite not seeing each other much for about a year hahaha. i remember how we used to meet up every other week for dinner in j1. had kfc freaking fats after a run though, shouldn't have at all :( 

also i realised i am still a very words person i need constant affirmation as and when and i think i get very insecure about relationships without affirmation. like i know we are close and all but sometimes i just need to be reminded that like i am still treasured and important to them. this sucks why am i so emotionally reliant on people??????????? hate how my life revolves around people..........  

and sometimes i don't know if people feel like i treasure them enough because maybe we express our love differently like some people need to be constantly kept in contact with or they will feel forgotten while others can go a year without talking and still feel like nothing's changed and i don't really know who's which kind until things happen? and the differences in love languages is a big burden sometimes i feel like i am expressing my gratitude to them but they don't feel it and i don't even know. eeeeeeeeeep. :( 

i think i am ill but idk if i really am because it only happens in the morning and then i take panadol and then i am fine but it is a recurring thing and i don't know if i'm really ill because maybe the panadol is just suppressing it or maybe it's just a new morning condition i really don't know ok bye